I sew. Also, I knit.
Actually I really should be sewing (or knitting?), but I am struggling to write this “About” page. I suspect this does not bode well for my future as a novelist – whatever shall I do about an author blurb? Best to begin at the beginning, I suppose.
I wasn’t a particularly crafty child, I “taught” myself to cross stitch after about 3 minutes of watching my mother try to teach me. This ended in disaster, and I abandoned handcrafts for the little girls ultimate dream: A freakin’ PONY. It wasn’t until I couldn’t ride anymore that I had to figure out what else I could possibly do with my hands. At the tender age of 15 I tried learning to sew but at that point in time the sewing machine with its many complicated dials was more an arch enemy than anything else, the computer seemed much easier.
Said computer kept me entertained, alongside a huge pile of library books, during my bizarre stint as a science geek at a hyper-religious high school where “Darwin” was a dirty word. I then cluelessly progressed to University, as this seemed to be a better idea than organized crime. On enrollment day my assigned advisor looked me in the eye, no doubt exhausted from seeing countless anxious freshmen, and said “What do you want to do?”
“I want to do biology!” And I did, I wanted to work with cephalopods, maybe even cetacians! I’d spent most of my pre-highschool adolescence submerged in salt water, paddling around happily and trying to catch fish and avoid eels after all.
The advisor looked at her computer screen, then back at me, and said “Your ACT score for math was so low you will have to take remedial classes to catch up. The science department won’t look kindly on that.”
So, that was a no, apparently.
From there I had no career in mind, but whilst attending classes I accidentally majored in Theatre Technology. I know what you’re thinking. Anya! You can’t accidentally major in anything, you have to fill out all that paperwork, and such. This is true, but I was I was tricked into the whole affair, honest! I really just wanted to learn to sew properly after making a costume and discovering that I wasn’t half bad at it. I thought I’d just take a few classes, just…one or two. But the theatre people won’t stand for that. They have a sickness and you will catch it. Before you know it you’ll be pulling all nighters and singing “I am what I am” at the top of your lungs with the rest of them…
Alas, as much fun as it is to drink and sew your way through University all those stretches of sleep deprived madness have a price. Much like those kids who major in software engineering because they like videogames, and end up writing business software, my theatrical sewing journey would eventually send me right back to cubicleville.
While completing the grueling work of a Theatre major I had to get Real Work for a series of phone-survey companies and investment call centers. That’s where I learned to knit – while on the phone collecting the valuable opinions of daytime drunks and the elderly.
It took me about 5 years to get through University, and from there I progressed to starving and working for non-union theatres and costume houses until I finally had to say “uncle” and return to working in the world of finance. Alas, theatre does not pay the bills.
You could attribute my mad desire to be a tailor’s apprentice to the combination of beef jerky and beer imbibed at my costume house job. That and the odd 5 years of weeping as I watched my creations molder in stock and thinking – “Really if I’m working this hard shouldn’t my sewing be seen and used every day? That’d be pretty cool. Also I think I would like it if I got paid a tasty living wage and worked in a high profile end of the industry? I like suits a whole lot more than I like wedding dresses…”
For two years I attempted to bust in to the bespoke tailoring industry in England but this did not exactly work out. As it happens I am American and all my vital reproductive organs are nestled safely within my body (IE: I am female). Combine these factors with the sexism inherent in Savile Row, an un-winnable battle with the Home Office, and some very weird drunks it’s a recipe for havin’ no job. So back to the office I went.
A lass cannot survive in the Office world forever (to paraphrase a coworker “What better motivation to pursue your dreams than sharing a miniscule cubicle with a giant load bearing column?”). Alas, I’ve no idea quite what to do yet, perhaps a return to science is in my future?
The shortest explanation for “me” is that I’m a dyed in the wool “INTJ” personality type. The greatest frustration in my life is that I really can’t learn everything there is to know…
Other items of interest would be my longstanding love of books, amateur science pursuits, horror, curiosities, mythology and folklore, classic blues and bluegrass, high seas derring-do, knitting, sewing, and cooking.
