Mostly, I think, blogging is something to do between the things I do at the Office Job because I cannot knit or sew there (and it’s really hard to read a book under your desk when you sit in a cubicle). There are only so many “F-Locked” Livejournal posts you can make in a day before you annoy everyone you know.  In the heat of my boredom I considered inflicting myself on the general populous, so that the whole world could share in my pointless wittering. Well, that and I greatly enjoy the blogging of others, and I figure I should try it too.  So because I like making lists here is a list of things I think will help me with the blog thing.

1) I like to booze it up when I “craft” I see some other people like to do this too. I figure I’ll fit right in. Frankly, I don’t know how anyone can sew or knit while sober. Although I find it helps to be sober while changing sewing machine needles and doing complicated embroidery.  (I mayyyy be drunk right now…)

2) I’m a little… weird. Perhaps other weird stitchers and knitters will flock to me, and we can all plot sparkly skull dresses for Dia de los Muertos and knit ambitious Bayeux tapestry sweaters without the stigma of “goth” or “edgy” crafting.  And in that vein of avoiding cliches I do hereby solemnly swear to avoid any and all knitting and sewing puns or cutsey turns of phrase.

3) I am trying to go to Grad School abroad, perhaps I can provide a pretty decent source of information to other hopefuls. The same applies to people who want to work in the English tailoring biz who are Americans. Boy have I got a cautionary tale for you!  In the same vein perhaps other knitters and wool afficianados in the North of England can tell me where a lass can find special wool…

4) I will not shame you, gentle readers, you will feel no inadequacy reading *this* blog. I own a TV which I watch frequently, but do not own a home.  I do not have decent decor, a perfectly organized house, or even a couch.   I do not have a yard, let alone a garden. I do not produce anything particularly attractive or photographable in my kitchen (but it tastes okay!). I also don’t have any adorable well behaved children to craft for. So behold me! And feel as good about yourselves as I do when I watch Jerry Springer!

5) I read books and stuff, I favor older American literature and weird fiction. Maybe I can recommend a book? Eh? Eh?

6) I am unfortunately not a “harlot” when it comes to cloth and yarns and things. I am more like a high class call girl, but only because of my tough and gritty fiber past. If I hadn’t had to sew all that horrible sparkle green lycra and acetate lining fabric, or if I hadn’t roasted through summer horse shows in itchy inferior woolen jackets, I wouldn’t love cotton tawna lawn and merino and cashmere wool as I do. Soft, soft, obedient wool. G-ds favorite fiber – be it in a super 100 weight worsted, or spun into dreamy fingering weight goodness… Wool rules.

7) I am an amateur science geek. This may make posts marginally more interesting as I use the “scientific” method to do stuff. Plus, I might post pictures of things when I set them on fiiiireee…shiny, shiny fire.

8 I am accident prone and do a lot of stupid things in addition to the accident prone thing. Please, allow my track record of craft related injury to be a public service announcement to all of you. Learn the peril lurking in everyday household objects!

9) If you can believe it, my minor was in journalism. This should aide me in blog posting.  However I made consistent “C” grades because of my deep abiding love for the adjective so I wouldn’t expect brevity from my posts, or adherence to Strunk and Whites basic word usage rules.

10) I enjoy kitch and vintage knitting and sewing, surely this will translate into interesting reading!

11) I have seen other bloggers exchanging goodies and getting free things, I wish to get in on this racket, as my yarn stash fits neatly in a large wicker chest and knitting bag. We shall not speak of my sewing stash….

12) I am a Southerner, and proud Kentuckian happy to be from the same region as the Coal Miners daughter – Loretta Lynn.  I figure I can help “represent” and prove that Southern craft does not boil down to southern bell crochet toiletpaper covers and smiling apple-cheeked angels.

Okay so that’s that. I came, I typed (frequently stopping to stir a pot of chicken and dumplings) I blogged. LET THE MADNESS BEGIN!